SklarO World Tela Pip Danny
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Tuesday, February 08, 2005
A Journey Towards G-D......The first chapter
I have been experiencing some very important changes in my life recently.
In the past few months since the holiday of Sukkoth I have been making a conscious effort to keep more and more Mitzvoth. I'm pretty sure that I have believed in G-d my whole life or at least for as long as I can remember, but I just wasn't sure about the whole Torah and Mitzvoth thing. Once I even prayed to G-d for help with something very important when someone close to me was in a bit of trouble, and by the time I got home from shul things were better as if the problem, never occurred. That experience really moved me.
Before I started my 'observance' I was feeling kind of spiritually dead. I was feeling sort of an unexplainable force that was leading me towards G-d. I felt like I had to pray.
I think this past Sukkoth was the start. It was a good opportunity, a fun holiday that didn't cross over Shabbat so my wife and I could still smoke. I had explained to my wife that I wanted to observe the Sukkoth holiday. Naturally she sounded surprised and even a bit alarmed. This was pretty understandable considering that in the last 10 years that we've been together we haven't had much of a relationship with Judaism. Well, I observed Sukkoth the best I could and it was an amazing time. After that I started going to Shacharit minyan at the Chabad close to my house. I have to say that Davening at Chabad is MUCH different then the Misnagdishe background that I was brought up with. The people are loving, accepting, and highly spiritual. I think a big part of why I have been so detached for all of these years can be blamed on my Misnagdishe upbringing. The people I went to shul with and interacted with were for the most part snooty, materialistic, closed minded, judgmental, assholes. This was not an attractive Judaism.
I also started to keep a sort of quasi-Shabbat observance. Try to keep everything except I'd watch TV and smoke. This lasted for a little while until about a month ago when a frum friend of ours from out of town stayed over for Shabbat. I decided that this was a great time to see if I was ready to keep Shabbat. As it turns out the timing was perfect. I had a wonderful Shabbat experience and I also discovered that I had absolutely no temptation at all for any of the things prohibited on the 7th day. So for the last 3 Shabbosim I have been observing the Shabbat.
In this country especially its very easy to get wrapped up in materialism and push G-d to the side. People need to take a step back and think about the bigger picture. Materialism is bullshit. Clothes, movies, work, school, cars, corporations, and even money are not a part of the big picture. While sometimes these things are important, they are also distractions. In the last few Parshiot we are reminded over and over again...This is G-d's world. He put us here and it is unhealthy to try and sideline him.
posted by roy
: 8:52 AM
Keep up the good work. Don't let people turn you off or turn you away from progressing. People are people, and they will always be people. People f*ck up - a lot. Be proud, stay proud.
It is often easier to fight for one's principles that to live up to them.
Adlai E. Stevenson Jr.
posted by roy
: 1:27 PM
I'm proud of you Prodly. Keep it up.
There are plenty of frum-from-births who have no idea why they do what they do.
You've got a whole different perspective on it.